I'd fuck you so i could feel something instead of nothing at all [entries|friends|calendar] riotgrrrly [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Thursday the 25th, 11.45AM] [ mood | content ] woohooo iv finally got a minute to myself to actually update this bitch! i don't think iv even updated this since iv had the little one :S terrible. anyway she's at jess' she's staying with her tonight, this is the first time me an david have been without her overnight since she was born.....we're ok wit it tho coz she's in safe hands :) i'm going thru 2 edinburgh tomorow to take her to see lisa, geo an jamie coz they aint even seen her yet! lol anyway i'm lookin forward to tonight, just gonna be me an david which will be nice :) xx Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 14th, 07.15PM] [ mood | happy ] [ music | tool ~ hooker wit a penis (how can u tell carly's here? lmao ] hiyaaaaaaaa folks just thought i'd update this coz ive fuck all else to do basicly lol. carly's heeeeeeeere wit me :D yey! we went a trip to the graveyard today so we could put flowers down for phil. i'm really proud of her :-) she's done sosososososooooo well considering what she was like when he first died :( I LOVE YOU CARLY! *mwaaaah* lol awwwwwwww she just cuddled me! heeheee! anyway we just went for something to eat after that then came back here, now we're just waitin for jess to hurry her arse up and get here to see carly before she goes hoooooooome :( i'm off now coz ive not much to say really....only got liek a month to go before the little one's here so yey! i'm not nervous at all :D which is good lol. bye byezzzz L X Tear me apart..

[Sunday the 13th, 01.42PM] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | mayhem ] i'm a bit stressed out today :-| but all will be fine coz i have jess' arse as my background :D hehehehehe! xx Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 17th, 12.02AM] I promise i'll update soon! lol xx 1 // Tear me apart..

[Wednesday the 29th, 06.55PM] [ mood | calm ] i haven't updated this for ages, cant even remember what i said in the last entry............ things are good; ive moved in with david in his house in larkhall :) and sarah moved into the flat with jess.......they seem to be getting on really well and are so happy ......really pleased for them. was at dels last night with them....was a laugh. everyone kept saying 'how cute' my bump is lol :S it was scary......had gay men touching it all nite :S haha i had a scan the other day and all is well, i have a picture of the baby too, david seems to be permanently attatched to it though :\ lol anyway im off to watch a dvd with david :) xx 2 // Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 9th, 05.38PM] [ mood | crushed ] poor Dimebag :( i'm so gutted. 3 // Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 18th, 01.40AM] I can't sleep :( i'm @ davids staying coz hes in london (something to do with the army), so i'm just over here keeping an eye on the place.....all by myself :( lol just kiddin, jay's sitting next to me, he didn't want me being by meself, awww. so yea, david comes out of the army on friday - for good :D which i'm very happy about cos i feel like i never see him. he was on telly on monday for scots funeral :( i was going to go, but wasn't feeling too good. david had his interview for the police last week and he did well, so he's starting on monday :) he's gona have to move house though because a police living in larkhall just screams 'bad idea' lol. he wont move though. i'm moving in here with him coz he's just bought this place, and jess is staying in the flat with her girlfriend, who is really lovely. im gonna go now, i think jay has just wrecked the dvd player :S silly boy, can't leave him alone for two minutes L xx 2 // Tear me apart..

[Friday the 12th, 12.21AM] [ mood | tired ] Answer me this: Why is it called morning sickness if it happens MORNING, NOON and NIGHT?! Fucking idiot whoever made that phrase up. I want to hunt them down and annihilate them. Bastard. Worst day of my life, MORNING SICKNESS *rolls eyes* wise. I was out with Geo today and had to keep going into places and asking where the toilet was. I haven't been feeling sick, it's just been happening. I hope this little fucker appreciates everything I'm going through. lol. I'm gonna TRY and get some sleep now. Jess' new wumman is staying here tonight, so no doubt I'll not get any sleep. Mwaha. Goodnight xx Tear me apart..

[Monday the 8th, 10.36PM] eeeeeek! i havent updated this for ages! nothing much has been happenin really. all is well with me though :) which is good. i'm not gonna bore the crap out of whoever reads this and update about baby stuff, actually, if i did i'd probably end up boring myself aswell :| i was in town with jess today, i needed new clothes. got quite a lot actually. oh aye, we were in rufus cos jess 'fancied a pint' lol :S and i asked her if i could phone our friend red coz i left my phone in the house, so she said i could. so when i was going thru her fone book, i seen the name "Randy" :| i was like "who the fuck's Randy?" and she replied as calm as anything "Randy from Lamb of God". i was like WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? she never told me she has his fone number lol. one of my fave bands and everythin. what a girl. so i carried on looking in her fone book for the name "Phil"....but no such luck i'm afraid lmao. even if she did have phil anselmo's bloody fone number she still wouldn't tell me lol. she tends to be a bit 'blonde' sometimes does jessikka. i think we're goin out this weekend which is good, coz i haven't been out for 3 weeks or somethin *shockin*. im tired of typing now and i havent even started hardly. maybe sum other timeeeee xxx Tear me apart..

[Saturday the 16th, 02.39PM] [ mood | good ] ahhh long time no write, i know i know :| emmm i'm in london rite now with jessikka ka ka. and i just want to say RITE NOW - carly I'm reallllyyyy SORRY tht we're gonna be back for next saturday nite :( cos the wedding is on the saturday :| |: :| :| i'm sorryyyy. but me and jess are taking u 2 edinburgh the following week 2 make it up 2 u, so i hope we're forgiven? <3 anyway, i've nothing to say really...... i'm out xx 5 // Tear me apart..

[Sunday the 26th, 04.51PM] [ mood | happy ] god todays been so crap. me and david went to the doctors this morning and ended up waiting like 2 and a half hours cos apparently the computers werent working or something??? they're SO slow in that place. anyway, finally got to see the doctor - i AM pregnant this time lol. so i suppose it was worth waiting all that time :| we came back and told jess and she was like "OMG!" lol...she was so happy :) so yea, everyone's happy. thats all.   xx 3 // Tear me apart..

[Saturday the 25th, 12.34PM] i had my first drink in a month last night, so yea, i'm pretty much suffering for it today :| we went to polo last night, was okay. carly looked fuckin hottttttt...girls in pvc is just the best thing ever. I wish i could find the person that invented pvc. they'd be my best friend. after polo, we came back here and got wasted. lol jay was in his element because there were 2 lesbians among us, there's usually only one. so he was like "go'n kiss or somethin", to carly n christie.  and they did just to shut him up. was funny. christie SO wants in carly's pants haha. :D but carly's having none of it until she knows what she's gonna do about joanne. i hope she finishes with her actually because what she did was totally shite. just cos a girl carly knows foned her when she happened to be in the car with joanne, joanne went mad, demanding to know who she was and why she was fonin her. fuck sake. so quite rightly, carly's just giving joanne space to realise that she cant do that. its not up to her who fones carly :s stupid bitch...im all angry now :| 2 // Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 16th, 02.04PM] i'm all happy coz carly's here :D she's just informed me that "I'm walking like i've been shafted really hard" LOL because i've hurt my leg :( cheeky cunt that she is. i'm waiting for her to get back from the garage so we can go to glasgow and meet jess kate and geo. and i'm gonna get the rest of my tattoo finished :D i also need to get jess a birthday present coz if i dont get it soon, i'll forget. not in a nasty way - thats just wot am like :S i forget everythin :| anyways im off! 7 // Tear me apart..

[Tuesday the 14th, 07.50PM] nothing much been happening in the world of lynne :| 2day carly came over and told me n jess the goss about joanne :) we're gonna get to meet her this w/end, so lookin forward 2 that :D carly got a bit emotional actually, which was a bit of a surprise coz she was fine 1 minute and crying the next :| so me n jess hugged her n stuff and found out what was wrong :( she's ok now, but i'm still a bit worried. neways, im away to watch the shite that is eastenders :| Tear me apart..

[Saturday the 11th, 10.29PM] [ music | pig destroyer, sheet metal girl ] jennifer love hewitt's on the telly, fantastic. i'm at katie's house right now, i'm only calling her katie cos she hates it haha and im evil :) katie katie katieeeee! heh :P well jess has gone out with carly and carly's mate david, so i just thought i'd steal jess' car and drive over to kate's house :) i'm not drinkin, wasn't last night either. yey. me and kate are just sitting playing with her daughter, shes so fuckin cute...although i shudda tied my hair back cos she seems to have taken a fancy to it lol :S awww. her dad's coming @ 11 to pick her up and take her to his coz me and kate are gonna go and meet carly and that in polo. lol thats if she hasn't already left coz she was determined she was gona pull 2nite anywho, im off to sort my hair out coz there appears to be a young child attatched to it :| xx  Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 9th, 02.30PM] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | pantera - fucking hostile ] i'm so nackered :| just in from glasgow with jess. when we woke up at 9 this morning we had the sudden urge to spend money, so we bought loada clothes. i got this really really cooooool skirt. it's SO fucking tiny, i dunno if i'll be able to wear it in the winter lol. i think i'll save it for carly's 18th though :) I think we're goin to edinburgh for her 18th actually, that's IF me and jess arent in london at the time. in which case carly's just gonna go to edinburgh anyway with clare. but i'd really like to be here for her 18th! *stamps foot* we seen james in glasgow so we went and had a drink with him :) i think him and jess are gonna do somethin tonight and leave me all alone in the flat with kat :-O shocking! ha! i think we're gonna go out anyway. i want to go to girdwoods, but if i walk in and its packed with all them stupid underaged mosher fannies then i'm leaving. actually i'd go in just to see carly's pal Red who works there....she's fuckin gorgeous maaaaaaaaaaaan.   anyway im off cos we're going to asda and jess is letting me drive her carrrrr!! weeeeeeeeeeeee! xx Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 2nd, 12.32AM] we're havin a girls' night in 2nite :) we've brought jess' matress into the living room so we can just lie on it and watch films and eat drunk etc etc. we've been harassing carly all nite (kat made us) to get her to come over, but she couldn't be bothered. it's a shame cos kat's all horny lol. oh well, maybe another time eh carly? :p i got tattooed 2day...on my foot. i'll try get a pic cos there's a few ppl on msn i talk to that want to see it. it was quite sore :| but worth it. i'm gonna go back next week and get the same tattoo as phil anselmo on my hips/belly. i wouldn't usually get the exact same tattoo sum1 else has coz it's just gay, but it's not as if he designed it or anything, it's just a word. i'm gonna get jess' and carly's names tattooed on me aswell. they dont know yet. .....well actually they do now lol. hmmmmmm well i'm offski. need to go and eat more ice cream :D xx 3 // Tear me apart..

[Tuesday the 31st, 05.54PM] took jess to see that film with vin deisel in it earlier to shut her up lol shes been talkin about it for ages and since she wants to get jiggy with vin, i thought i'd take her to see it. now she's even worse. we bumped into miss geo in central afterwards and went to the solid for a while. and i seen carly walkin by so i ran out, nearly knocking people over n everything lol. i pulled her in the solid and she said 'oooh i feel weird in here cos  I'M ONLY 17!' realllllllly loud so the bar staff could hear her lol! they just looked but never done anything. she came back to ours for a while and she's just left. and now im off to see daaaavid :P xx Tear me apart..

[Monday the 30th, 10.09PM] [ music | tool - aenima ] ive had such a good weekend :D friday - kat arrived and jess got back from london :D i was sooooo happy to see jess, missed her loads. she'd better not go away n leave me EVER AGAIN! anyways, friday night me, jess, katharine (jess' sis), david, jay, lisa, geo and her burd went to the cathouse. it was kinda crap. i spent most of the night in the toilets because i always seem to meet cool ppl in the catty toilets lol. i met a girl called lynne lol its quite weird speaking to someone with the same name as u cos people kept sayin 'lynne' and we both kept turning round lol. ahhh. after the catty we all went back 2 the flat and got drunk (ive decided im only going to drink on weekends) lol lisa got really emotional and confessed her undying love for carly :( aww! it was so sweet CARLY!!! but she then started talking about their sex life when they were goin out lol...dnt worry carly, it was all GOOD things! and u never told me about that time in Spyker?!?!?! lol. i want details tomorrow young laydee! :P anyways, she desperately wants carly, but she says she's keeping back for the time being cos she says carly's interested in sum1 else. i no who it is, but i'm keeping hush :) everyone stayed at ours that night. went home on saturday. saturday - went shopping in glasgow, got loadsa new clothes which is gd. hellfire have quite a lot of new lip service stuff in, so of course jess was just in her element...and kat. her and jess r SOSOSOSOSO alike its fucking unreal. we spent so much money its scary. jess got her new car yesterday aswell, it's really cool. it's a peugeot 307...it suits her lol saturday afternoon we got the train through to edinburgh to lisa's and got ready at hers cos we were going to the mission. i haven't been there for about 6 months so it was good seeing ppl. its so much better than the catty :| i cant remember much of yesterday cos everyone just stayed in bed due to hangovers and stuff lol. i havent even seen jess today cos she's not came out of her room since we got bak from edinburgh lol :S i'm gonna go in and see her when i go offline. xx 3 // Tear me apart..

fill this in, bitches. [Wednesday the 25th, 10.45PM] [ mood | content ] [ music | mudvayne - death blooms ] 1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 2. Am I loveable? 3. How long have you known me? 4. When and how did we first meet? 5. What was your first impression? 6. Do you still think that way about me now? 7. What do you think my weakness is? 8. Do you think I'll get married? 9. What makes me happy? 10. What makes me sad? 11. What reminds you of me? 12. If you could give me anything what would it be? 13. How well do you know me? 14. When's the last time you saw me? 15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 16. Do you think I could kill someone? 17. Describe me in one word. 18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? 19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? 20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? 1 // Tear me apart..

[Wednesday the 25th, 05.51PM] i've just spoke to jess on the fone and shes just informed me that her big sister kat is coming to stay with us on friday :D :D :D :D :D :D she's fuckin lovelyyyyyy. oh god i wonder where she's gonna sleep though lol hmmmm. this is sooooooo good. :D 1 // Tear me apart..

[Wednesday the 25th, 12.27AM] feel like i've not updated this in ages. nothing much 2 tell really. got back from london about 2 hours ago, at david's at the minute. jess is coming back on friday afternoon cos i think mark and co are starting to do her head in. i was only there for 2 days and they did my fuckin head in! i wanted to kill them but jess wouldnt let me :|  i havent had any alcohol/drugs for about a week now :| it's doing me good i think, jess seems to think so too. she's not had any either cos she's trying to help me i think, awww. and i know how much she luvs her southern comfort, so i'm thankful she's doing it : )  i don't think i need to stop drinking altogether, just need to cut down a bit and i definately need to stop the pills and shit cos it's not worth it, i've now realised. they just make me feel so depressed and fuck with my head and i feel bad lying to david all the time cos he despises drugs and he'd kill me if he knew about me and my situation :-s i miss jess already and i only seen her this afternoon : (  i hate it when she's not here, its not the same. lol before she went to london, she got a call from her mum, shouting her mouth off, telling jess to go over to her house and get the rest of her stuff from her room, little things. and her mum said she had to go out and that jess had to use her key, then leave it under the plant pot thing when she was leaving. she took kevin with her, and before they left, they christened helga's piano! haha! i thought that was excellent :D gonna try and meet up with carly at the weekend cos i havent seen her for ages : (  i feel like goin out this weekend, but i cant drink so it'll be crap :| and drugs is a definate no-no. but i'm sure i'll enjoy myself anyway  : ) I'm off to bed. xx 3 // Tear me apart..

[Tuesday the 17th, 01.09AM] i cant sleep :( jess is on the fone talking to her mate...in spanish!! its fuckin hottttt! lol. *calms down* i think we're gonna have our house warming party this coming w/end BUT we're not totally sure cos some people who we really want to be there are on holiday. how dare they go on holiday when were planning a party. HOW BLOODY DARE THEY! fuckers. anyway, we will probably know by wednesday/thursday whats happening. jays staying over tonight cos his gf is away to dundee til tomorrow, and he was feeling all lonely. aww. lol. tomorrow we're gonna go shopping for me cos i need something to wear for a wedding ARGH! hate weddings. neways, im away to lisen to jess a bit more xx Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 12th, 05.43PM] well last nite was good. me jess and jay stayed in and got really wasted. we drank 2 bottles of jack, half a bottle of jim beam and we had some tequila :S jess and jay are STILL in bed lol. after that, we went to bed and took advantage of jay. no, not like that. jess was up for an hour this morning and MADE me take a pregnancy test :| i took it, but freaked out and didn't look at it...just fucked it in the bin, after i'd snapped it in half :| lol. jess was going mad at me, saying im gonna have to do it sooner or later and she's right, but i want to speak to david first, before i find out, and he doesn't come back til wednesday :( tonight kevin comes back, so no doubt jess will be out. i think carly is coming over for a while :D ive missed herrrrr!! i think geo said shes gonna try and get over aswell :) 1 // Tear me apart..

[Monday the 9th, 01.21PM] [ mood | tired ] [ music | kMfDm - a drug against war ] omg wacken was sosososososo goood! words cannot describe. i got to play drums on children of bodoms set :D how amazing. alexi remembered me and jess from when we met them in norway :D ah it was just great. met a lot of cool people aswell. met angela gossow - she is SO much hotter in real life! and carly met tobey fucking torres!!!!!!! OMG! and also that bird melanie that used to be in my ruin was there. god i think we met evry band that played lol. the guy from anthrax dedicated a song to jess pmsl. he went "and this next song is for the girl over there with the killer legs" lol! she was mortified. he pointed right at her aswell ahahahaha and the camera went on her and she was on the big screen LOL! we seen carly once...and the only reason we did see her was becos there was 2 girls lying on the grass...basicly havin sex lol...and i turned round to jess and wnet "omg look at them!" and jess went "she has the same boots as carly...and the same skirt...and the same bag...and, omg that IS carly!" LOL so we went over and sat on the grass next to them for about 324234 hours and waited til' they detatched their faces from each other lol it was mad. well anyways it was a great weekend and i'm seriously goin next year. it was that good. duno wot am doin the day, cant b bothered doin anythin to be honest. just talkin to david on msn cos his fones broke and i cant be arsed goin over to his :| this is his name on msn right now: 'It's a definate plus when you're girlfriend is experienced in horse riding :D says:" lol im off to bed 9 // Tear me apart..

[Wednesday the 4th, 02.02AM] [ music | pantera - fucking hostile ] hmm things have been pretty hectic today cos my brother bren is staying with us cos his gf kicked him out...again. she's needin a good boot up the cunt she is. its his house, yet she thinks she can just lock him out whenever she pleases. grrr. i hope for her sake i dont bump into her anytime soon. hes sleeping in my bed til that idiot lets him back in...and im sleeping with jess...sexual. me and jess were in town 2day and we bumped into her mum :S it was awful. shes such a fucking selfish arse its unbeleiveable. all she kept goin on about was things she'd bought, holidys shes goin on, how well her and lauren are getting on etc. i felt sick for jess, cos she just gets no respect whatsoever off that bitch. # after we left Hitler, we bumped into non other than the lovely Geo..she was on her lunch break though, so she couldnt talk long, just long enough for us to arrange to meet her in polo tonight. it was good, there was a band on, never been when theres been live music. was pretty good. god, this chick came over to me and was blatently chatting me up, then jess came over and sat down and she asked us to have a 3some with her lol. we said not tonight, but jess got her number and said she'd call her at the weekend haha! so yea, we've planned our weekend already :P geo was a bit pissed off cos her ex (of 6 years) was in polo and was bein a total cow, i wanted to go up and wack her but geo wouldnt let me :| she looks like rhona cameron... im away to sleep with jess :D hehehehehe!! Tear me apart..

this is sooooo soo so sosososo long :| [Tuesday the 3rd, 12.49AM] Middle name: only my friends are allowed 2 know that! Last place you traveled: the front door? Height: 5"3 ish The shoes you wore today: doc martens Your weakness: jess in pvc *dies* Your perfect pizza: one with loadsa cheeeese on it! Your most overused phrase on AIM/MSN: lol Your thoughts first waking up: i dont want to get up Your best physical feature: my stomach, it's not as amazing as carly's yet :( cos i keep eatin junk! Your bedtime: when i pass out Your most missed memory: spending time with phil. sorry carly if u read this, i no how much mentioning him upsets u, but im just being honest. *hugs* Pepsi or Coke: coke, pepsi just aint the same McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds Single or group dates: single...unless its like a foursome heh...then thats alright Adidas or Nike: adidas ;-) Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton, even though i HATE ice tea Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino DO YOU... Smoke: sometimes Cuss: yea Sing: all the time Take a shower: of course :S Have a crush(es): Yup...hehe Think you've been in love: yea Want to go to college: no Want to get married: who knows Believe in yourself: not really Get motion sickness: no Think you're attractive: ..aye totally lol Think you're a health freak: no way Get along with your parents: my mum's an idiot. dad's dead Like thunderstorms: yea Play an instrument: yea IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU.. Drank alcohol: yup Smoked: yup Done a drug: yup Had Sex: yup Made Out: should this not b b4 "had sex"? :S Gone on a date?: i suppose Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no... Eaten sushi: EW no, carly's put me off, i think she lives on it Been on stage: yup Gone skating: no Made homemade cookies: lol no, i hav a life HAVE YOU EVER... Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes If so, was it mixed company: yes Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: many a time Been caught "doing something": yea, sadly lol Been called a tease: yes Gotten beaten up: no Shoplifted: no Changed who you were to fit in: no chance Age by which you hope to be married: i duno Numbers and names of children: none Describe your dream wedding: ive nevr thought about it IN THE OPPOSIITE SEX YOU PREFER... Best eye color?:GREEN Best hair color?: any but ginger! Short or long hair: dont mind Best height: not bothered Best weight: dont mind, not obese and not anorexic though :S Best articles of clothing: dont mind Number of drugs taken illegally: 3 Number of people I could trust with my life: a few Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: once or twice, when my dad died, and after that when i tried to kill the guy that killed him. bet u never knew that! lol Number of scars on my body: loads Number of things in my past that I regret: a good few things Sunrise or Sunset: sunset Stripes or Polka Dots: hate both Money or Fame: money obvioiusly Metal or Hardcore: metal bibby Pools or Hottubs: hottubs, eh jess? heh! Section One: Personal Name:: lynne Age:: 20 Sexual Preference:: whatever Dating Status:: in relationship Age of partner:: 22 Age of First sexual act:: id just turned 15 Religion/Belief:: i dont believe in anything School (Grade, graduate, drop-out, g.e.d, college):: ... Living Status (parents, roomate, on your own...):: i live with my bestesestest friend jesssssss Section Two: Parents and Family Parents names:: Jodi and mark Status (married, divorced, seperated, etc):: my mums remarried to a complete waster Are they strict or laid back:: Laid back Do they drink, smoke, do drugs:: my mum drinks Any brothers or sisters:: four older brothers...love them to bits...one younger brother who i cant fucking stand...he's just like his waster of a dad Did they/Do they do drugs/drink/etc:: both aye Are they older or younger:: 4 are older the other 1 is younger Are you highly influenced by your family:: just my big brothers and my dad, my mum's a waste of space Section 3: Drugs (Have you...) Smoked Weed:: yep Done Coke:: yes Tripped on Acid:: yes Done Extacy:: yes Tried Crystal Meth:: no Done Crack:: no Shot Heroin:: no Robo-tripped:: no Tried any other form of homemade drug:: no Made a homemade bong? yep Section 4: Alcohol (disregard this is you dont drink) Have you ever drank?:: aye Favorite mix:: jack d and coke All around favorite liquor::. jim beam/jack d How often do you drink:: mostly just at weekends Do you get hangovers:: sometimes Do you have a high tolerance:: no Does alcohol put you to sleep:: no What kind of drunk are you (dumb, funny, annoying, deep, sleepy, horny...):: loud, horny, naked Do you ever have problems with memory and alcohol:: depends on how huch ive had Do you prefer to drink out in bars, at parties, alone, at home, etc?:: at parties, clubs, in the house sometimes Do people realy become 10 times prettier or are you just 10 times hornier?:: 10 times hornier Ever drink from a beer bong?:: no Ever done a body shot?:: dont think so Where's the best bar to drink at?:: there's a couple, dont have a fave Section 5: Sex Are you straight/gay/bi/metro/trans..etc?:: Bisexual i suppose. girls are better though Are you a virgin?:: im 20, course im not, stupid Favorite Sexual position:: as if im gonna broadcast my fave sexual position on lj! ha! Best Sexual Partner of all time:: jess. seriously. How many people have you been with?:: i havent counted. thats sad. Ever had a one night stand?:: yes Ever fooled around with a person of the same sex/how far did it go?:: aye...all the way Do you enjoy Porn?:: who doesnt? If so, what kind is best (gay, lesbian, straight, fat, granny, black..)?:: lesbian :) what's your take on Masichism?:: it can be fun sometimes Beastiality?:: don't get me started, its revolting Favorite kind of sex? (oral, anal, vaginal...):: any, sex is sex :P i do actually hav a fave, but i shall keep that to myself. if anyone's THAT interested they can ask me personally :P Will you/would you give oral sex?:: yup i have and yup i would Will you/would you have anal sex?:: yes Do you have a reputation?:: lol no Are you known for being particularily good at something (anything)?:: yes :P haha have you ever been told you were a bad kisser?:: im a fantastic kisser! what's your partner's favorite thing about you?:: thats between me and him is there any one feature you always get compliments on?:: yes... :P Section 6: Life What's your party life like/do you even have one?:: it's great : D Where do you hang out?:: glasgow, edinburgh What do you do on weekends?:: go out, get drunk Have you ever kissed anyone of the opposite sex?: yupp Kissed someone of the same sex?: yep Been with someone soley for the purpose of pleasure?: aye Oral sex? Yes or No?:. yes what song would you have sex to if you could?: something by massive attack :) Whos the celebrity you would do?: PHIL ANSELMO!!!!!!!! Are you a virgin?: nope If not- how many times had you had sex?: dont know Were you a 'couple' with all of these people?: no Whos one person you know personally- who you would do?: jess lol she knows that though :) Have you ever had a threesome?: yup and a 4some If so- was it 1 girl 2 guys, or 2 girls, 1 guy?: it's usually 2 guys and 2 girls, we once had a foursome and it was 3 girls and one guy lol i think he thought it was xmas or sumthin What is the most sexy part about you?: my stomach Whats your favorite body part of the opposite sex?: stomach Most exciting place to have sex?: theres a few Fast or slow sex?: both Would you ever do it in a public place?: i have, do it quite often actually Ever had sex outdoors: aye All nude, barley covered, or completley clothed?: dont mind Porn - yes or no?: yes! Ever had sex with a prostitute?: erm..no? One night stands- yes or no?: yess Pure sex, or foreplay?: both Ever been caught in the act?: yes haha just last week Incest is sick. Right? Please say yes.: aye Tear me apart..

[Sunday the 1st, 01.50PM] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | my ruin ~ my beautiful flower ] last night (my birthday) was AMAZING! just want 2 say thanx 2 all my mates (specially jess) for making it so great. we went out and i didn't spend a penny lol was great. would be gd if that happened evry time i went out. anyways we went to Blanket for a change. we being myself, jess, david, james, jay, geo, franny, stephen, my brothers, lisa...god there was more but i dnt want to fill a WHOLE entry up with people's names. so, blanket is really good, kinda normal, but it was excellent. one of the barmaids knows carly and was like "omg u look like someone i know" lo and behold, it was carly lol! was funny. her name's claire. she's SO nice. i think david was getting a bit jealous cos when she finished work at 12, i invited her over to sit with all of us, and she sat RIGHT in the middle of me and david :S so i think he thought i was ignoring him. lol. i think jess enjoyed herself more last nite cos kevin wasnt there. she was talking to some HOT girl all nite, then they went away together at like half 2. jess came over and hugged and kissed me beofre she went though, so that was okay :P aye so i havnt spoken to jess yet, since she left last night lol hmmmmm. i wonder wht she could have done. big lesbian. oh oh oh b4 we went out last night, i pierced the back of jay's neck for him :D it looks really really really cool! im gonna get him 2 do mine later on today. i want one on my wrist aswell again. there's no scar from the last time i done it, so why not :D i took the thing out my tongue web last nite cos it was annoying me. i thought it wud close up over nite, but it hasnt cos its back in now. yey. im off 2 get ready. 4 // Tear me apart..

[Friday the 30th, 04.38PM] oooh im havin fun playin with ma barbie (well sindy actualy but barbie sounds classier :P) she looks well kool! shes got a black streak at the front of her hair, her eyes are all white with black eyeliner and black lip stick. shes got thigh high stockings and a pcv bra!...am not done yet. but mmmm sexi haha 1 // Tear me apart..

[Friday the 30th, 04.19PM] Last night was fantastic! jess and me went to dave and geo’s house to drink before we went out. We had 2 bottles of wine and a bottle of Jack D hehe, shots of JD is so rank *blugh* I duno how the fuck carly drinks it like that. She drinks it straight with crushed ice! , anyways, the 4 of us went to polo cos geo wanted to pull. Big lezzy. Aww she was asking me where carly was all nite! She asked me fr her fone number and I kept saying no I’l hav 2 ask her first, but I gave in in the end lol. So carly, geo wants a date ha :D! We looked the very best dressed there! its so good, everywhere we go we look better than the rest hehe. dave had gave me a pill before leaving the house, once it kicked in I was just so….happy? !I danced the entire night with jess! but it made the night more amazing. jess was all *bee hee* cause i had a pill and she ddint, so dave gave her one too. Some sleasy guy kept trying to get jess and me to have a 3-some with him *urghh*, I kept shouting at him saying that he was to keep away from me and my girlfriend lol. dave didnt seem as though he was having much fun, hes usualy so so happy and dancy all the time too. While jess was helping a girl with her broken bra, the security ppl came in and dragged a guy out, near knocked me over! Chuh! After that we just went back to daves, me and jess sat about and drank the bottle of JD. I kept blabbering on about wierd stuff apparently. like...jess asked me if i wanted a sweet and i went ' ok ok ill put it in the boot! it'll be safe in the boot!' hmmm...i was just so so wasted and reeeeaaaallly tired lol. It was such a good night. We are gonna go to the Catty tonite I *think*. jess said she would come and im gonna try and drag the boys out, but i doubt they will. Carlyyyyyy come to the catty with us tonight and see Geo :P its my birthday tomorrowwwwww! wehay! i'll be expecting a few comments wishing me happy birthday :P 3 // Tear me apart..

[Wednesday the 28th, 01.19PM] omg im traumatised for life! me david and jess were at the pub last night and in walks a fat girl in pvc! omg! theres nothing i find more repulsing than that. david couldnt stop staring at her, so i had to shout at him a few times. he kept sayin "she's no fat" big idiot. then he said "u look better in pvc though" ha! i think he just said that to shut me up. pig. i cant beleive the gumption of the girl though cos jess was there...wearing pvc, and we all know that NO ONE looks as good in pvc as jess. NO ONE! if i was that girl i'd have looked at jess and walked right back out the door again lol. i have a cheek to talk though cos right now i'm sitting in a pair of davids rangers shorts that are a million sizes too big lol they go down to below my knees :|awww. blah. iv been well bored today. i was woke up like 5 times this mornin cause david kept gettin up. i was too knackered ad just slept till lik half an hour ago. arghhh and the fone kept ringing! these damn fools! need my sleep. :P the only reason i stayed at davids was cos jess was away at kevins. jess' dad is comin up tomorrow with some guy to tile our kitchen floor. so cant be arsed with it, they will annoy the arse off me, and it means i have to get up really early if i want a shower b4 they start *grr* but thank the lord jess and me are goin out tomorrow nite for sum alcohol. woohoo. i can have a wee sip of my jack d b4 i go out too. :D im off 4 a shower Tear me apart..

[Saturday the 24th, 02.24PM] lol me and jess just seen our old 6th year teacher in glasgow. she stopped us and started babbling on about how we were "good girls" LOL what a dafty. maybe jess was but i certainly wasn't. she asked us what we were doing with ourselves so i told her we were cage dancers in a gay club and she beleived me lol stupid woman today my inner leg area has been fooking killing! grrrr....i dragged jess into town with me for an important mission. she wasnt too pleased cause she was with kevin. but tough shit. mwhahahha. we just kinda fannied about and looked at fetish books, then jess bumped into a guy she talks to on msn that she pure fancies but wont admit it. haha. it was funny. she invited him over to ours tonight, and he couldnt have agreed quick enough, poor fellow has been waitign for her to ask him that for ages probably these guys were giving us abuse after we left him, so we followed them lol, when we got up to them i was like 'fucking got anything else to say to us now?!?' he said 'no' then when they were half way down the street they turned and gave us shite again! they were like in their late 20's and didnt even have the balls to say something to our face! cunts. have to run away to shout at a couple of girls in the street. big wankers. then when we were coming out of a shop we seen them and i just stopped right infront of them and stared at them lol jess was mortified haha. they appologised and said my accent was cool :S yeah, ok, if you say so. i bet it killed them to say that muahaha, good. 7 // Tear me apart..

[Friday the 23rd, 11.29PM] [ mood | content ] aww i love jess, she went all the way to asda and got me jim beam and ice cream lol aww. she's a doll. so right now me, carly and jess are sitting watching 'she's all that'. why you ask? because carly suddenly needed a clea duvall (sp?) fix, and that is the only film with clea in it that i could find, the rest are in boxes that i cant be arsed unpacking :D i dunno y i started updating this :S i hav nothing interesting to say - not that i ever do, but aye. me, jess, carly and geo went to the west end today and bummed about there for a bit. An old woman came up and asked if we were in the middle of filming. we just looked around and said 'well....no' later on a nother woman said she wished she had her camcorder out to film us- how odd. We got red wine at Tesco then got the train home and had to stand. *bee hee* a woman just stared- STARED at jess' top the whole journey- cunt after that I can't remember much. we got up to naughtiness (not like that ho ho) cos geo's parents were out. we had a fight with sum girl who i have no idea who she was or where she came from....argh but she kept knocking on the living room window, demanding us to come out lol. i tyhink she was off her face on something or other, and we were all pished on red wine (xept carly cos she hates it) god it was funny. i seem to have sobered up now. but my jim beam is waiting for me...dunno if i want to drink it yet. so much for me stopping drinking for a while haha :D im off to smother carly with cuddles now because she's feeling all down :( xx Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 22nd, 10.17PM] im baaaaaaackkkkkkk woooooooooo. norway was greeeeeeat, as always. i hardly spent any money either lol woohoo. viteks new house is just fuckin amazin! it's all pine :D it's got 7 bedrooms! offft! amazin! i think my liver is about to pack in though...never drank so much in all my life i swear to god. oh well, i doubt i'll be drinking for a few weeks (jess is rolling about the bed laughing because i just said that) lol. she's got every right to laugh aswell haha! aww it was soooo sad when we got to the aiport - vitek was nearly crying cos he didn't want jess to leave! AWWWWW!!!! he lifted her up and wouldnt put her down. AAAAAAWWWW!!!! It was so sweet. AND OH MY FUCKING GOD! WE MET SHAGRATH FROM DIMMU BORGIR! HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!?!?! HE INVITED US TO HIS HOUSE AND EVERYTHING, but him and vitek etc don't get on, so me and jess thought it'd be pretty shite of us to go with him...as amazing as he is. lol poor martin and vitek are still at school haha! we only just found that out. awww. jess is such a cradle snatcher hahahah! decapitated are supposed to be playing wacken this year so no doubt carly will bump into them. im away to bed. Tear me apart..

[Friday the 2nd, 06.52PM] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | pantera - walk ] well 2day has been good. been out shopping with carly <3 she needed stuff for her holidays and i needed stuff 4 norway. lol carly needed a black strapless bra and cud we find one anywhere? was a nitemare. we eventually got one in la senza. its soooooo nice. was £38. god. anyways, after that we went to hellfire and the likes to get stuff for me. i think i've spent about £700 today :S after that we went to rufus for an hour, bumped into lisa. tis a shame for her....she really and i mean REEEEEEAAALLLLLYYYYY loves carly to bits....and carly just will not go out with her, i dont know the reasons why, and its none of my business but i wish she would go out with her. she's a really lovely girl :) lisa asked her todaY again and told carly she was goin on her hols tomorrow, so carly's got 2 weeks to think about it. hmmmm. she'd better say yes. when we said bye to lisa we made our way to the bus stop (we got the bus for a change) and while we were there, dave came up to us...he kept hugging carly and telling her she was gorgeous lol and that they need to go out sometime. carly just went "aye....maybe.....not" LOL. he's the only straight guy i know who walks about town wearing fairy wings and glitter in his hair :s apparently he was goin to a party....some excuse. hes cool though. anyways im goin2 straighten my hair cos me and jess are meeting people in glasgow soon. xx Tear me apart..

[Friday the 25th, 08.18PM] [ music | FF - Dog Day Sunrise ] well things have been a bit better since i last updated. last night me, david, jess, carly, jay and james all sat and pigged out and watched dvds all night :) it seemed to take jess' mind off things, which was good. and i think james being there helped a lot. tonight we're not going out cos we're all too tired from stayin up last night. going out tomorrow night...jess says she's coming out :D anyways i cnt be bothered writing any more, so bye. Tear me apart..

[Wednesday the 23rd, 09.15PM] well it hasnt been a very good week. jess is totally depressed cos it's 3 years this friday since katie :( jess has said i can put this on here, so i am. it'll make me feel a BIT better. so, a few days before jess was 16, she had a little girl, who, 2 days later was taken away from her because jess' heartless mother gave her up for adoption. so every year, on june 25th, jess is in complete peices...who would blame her? i feel so fucking bad for her, yet all i can do is be there for her. i told her i'd help her find katie n that, but she's not ready for that. she says she couldnt handle it :( its causing problems between her n kevin now because he says she's pushing him away or somethin, so i told him to back off for a while. james came to davids while we were all there yesterday, obviously cos he knows it's near the time of katie's birthday, so he came to see if jess was alright. i thought that was good of him. he's in peices aswell, obviously cos katie's his daughter :( i felt SOSOSOSOSOSO sorry for them yesterday, but i just kept my distance, and so did david. i hope they get back together. i didnt think i'd ever say that, but after seeing them together yesterday, i think its a good idea cos they both make each other feel better. i love u jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx anyway, rant over, i feel a bit better. 3 // Tear me apart..

[Monday the 21st, 01.09PM] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Peaches - Cum Undun ] look at my lovely amanda's hair! i did it :D i'm so clever jess, what are you doing with your hand? hmm? lol hmm not really been up 2 much. jess painted my ceiling for me yesterdaY, and now her back is all sore again :| woops. so i think david is coming over later to do the rest of it. anyway, last night after me din dins I went over to jade's for a bit of a drink with her, Marc and Dave. Marc was there when I got there, being insane and running about like a crazy poo as usual. We just kinda sat about for ages, drinkin and eating chicken nuggets :D. Hoho for some reason Marc had a pair of Daves pants in his bag, so we hung them from the light in the livingroom, so he had a wee surprise when he came in hehe. After a lot of sitting about, Dave appeared (we didn't think he was gonna come at first but he did). We then sat some more and drank some more, oh aye...lol jade and me tried to get the boys into bed lol, but they r SO slow! took them ages to get into the attic. fekin boys. They finaly came up and they would not stop talking lol. Oh my god they go on. jade was all up for a bit of kink, but it didn't happen *bee hee* jade couldn't take it anymore and went to sleep downstairs, so I was left in the bed with the boys. Marc kept trying to put his finger in Daves ass, then he took ALL his clothes off, rubbed his naked ass on Daves head, then climbed out the window. I really think there is something wrong with that boy. I couln't get to sleep cause Dave kept feking snoring! ARRGGHHHH! it just woulnd't stop! So I didn't sleep very well cause of that combined with the bum wrestleing lol. It was an alrite night tho, better than sitting infront of the telly all night. Today i said buh bye to the boys and went to Ikea with my mum to get ...stuff...lol. I dunno, I think she just wanted to go to Ikea. Didn't get anything of any interest...apart from later when i got a KFC. ahhh the wonders. I had my entire wardrobe out in the livingroom today, trying different things on *this is how bored i am*, I was just decideing what i should wear on thursday night. 3 // Tear me apart..

[Sunday the 20th, 02.47PM] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | pantera - fucking hostile ] hmmm what have i done....friday night i dragged jay out to the cathouse. was quite good actually, seen amanda :D she was sooooo drunk lol was cute. jay pulled her friend and went home with her and left me! :-O what a cunt! so yea, i stayed with amanda and 2 of her other friends, we left not long after that and i stayed at amanda's flat where we abused some drugs and drank 2 bottles of southern comfort :-S and a few shots of my favourite....jaggermeister in there somewhere :D i was so wasted. then i remember jess phoning me cos she was in town with the bf, but he dropped her off at amanda's cos he had to work in the morning. so jess came and we had fun. she kept gettin texts off vitek, apparently he's in london right now, for 3 weeks, and he wants me, jess and carly to back to norway with him when he goes, so we're gonna just go. free holiday...again. woohoo. the crappy thing is that carly can't come cos she's going to turkey 2 weeks on monday :( :( :( booo. it's gonna be quite shite actually cos me and jess arent single now and i'll have to behave myself. nah i dont mind really. anyway, had my wanker of a stepdad on the fone this morning, shouting "WHEN YOU COMIN TO GET THESE DOGS!?!?!?" :| so i had to drive over this morning and get them before he killed them or somethign. i've missed my dogs. jess agreed to have them stay with us in the flat AS LONG as they dont chew the furniture or eat her cat haha! they wont cos they're good, so it's cool. im away now cos im davids picking me up in 5 and i havent even took a brush to my head yet :-S xx 2 // Tear me apart..

[Friday the 18th, 05.41PM] [ mood | happy ] [ music | apoptygma berzerk - non-stop violence ] Yesterday, Jess and me went job hunting...and were crap at it, then went to the Crystal Palace to meet Geo. We got pished and harrased the people that work in there, Neil said Jess should go for an interview on wednesday, he soooooo wants to buff her. so yea it was all good. Dougie showed up later too and joined us in eating a HUGE jar of pickles and squirting lube about. Lube that Col gave us....god knows why the fuck we have it :S After the pub and when Geo had left us the laydeez went to Red's. In the morning Jess and me were still drunk and walked dougie to the train station in pj's and bare feet, no one said a thing! well we got a few beeps and stuff from cars... We were meant to go to polo with Dougie last night, but changed our mind at the last minute, so we went to the Solid instead....but AGAIN we changed our mind and ended up at Rufus THEN polo lol. Turns out kirk is the new bouncer, and cause he was so happy to see us he let us in with a bag full of cider. bless him It was crappy - of course, BUT i did see jennifer. She reminds me of me lol. Weird. so anyways, I left Red, Jess and Dougie, and went on a trip through Ibrox with jennifer. I stayed at hers =D her flat mate must have summit wrong with her, she covers all the remotes with plastic bags...bit strange I thought =-\ I have sore bits all over me from falling over and stuff, was fun though. I kept phoning Red and Jay and trying to make them come out with me jess and carly and jennifer, but they wouldnt. Bastards. Some how we ended up in some guys house last night aswell. But Red was bored and had to go home so I got Jess and we left. I dont remember the train ride at all! It was wierd, i remember everyhting else pretty much, apart from that bit. We got to Dougies, Jess got a taxi home cos she had to be up early, but I stayed cause I had no keys. so this morning Jay came bursting in, I think he was upto something. He was accusing me of doing dirty things with Dougie and being Jess =-S (there was a strong smell of hash at this time) When i was leaving he kept going on about my outfit, which was normal, he's the only person i know that gets stoned out his baws at like 9 am. oh i met jess' new blokey this afternoon. hes lovely. sorry jess, but aye, he'd get it off me, definately. if he wasn't ur bf obviously. yes, shutting up now lol. me n jess decided we need to find jay a gf. so we'll drag him out with us tonight :D we mentioned the word "gf" to carly today and she just went "naw". why? because she's still hung up on *name censored* aww it's a shame :( and im back with david, so life is good. i shouldve stayed with him all along, but i had to go n fuck things up with the other david. ah well. i talk too much bye xx Tear me apart..

[Tuesday the 15th, 11.30PM] [ mood | chipper ] oh my god, tonight was so much fun! haha! me jess n carly went to mcdonalds in hamilton. whenever we walk in that shithole, EVERYONE just looks at us and tonight was NO exeption lol. full of neds and jakies it was. yay! so anyways, scooter came on the radio. ha! so yeah i started to do a mad jig thing lol and carly and jess just looked at each other and joined in :D (ive taught them well) so then the poor neds didn't know whether to join in or just keep staring....but they just looked away and started eating their food again :D ha. my plan worked. they never looked at us again after that. my i'm SO good. after all that malarky we went to asda (the one i'm *supposed* to be barred from) and played with the monsters inc toys....well I did, carly n jess headed straight for the jaggermeister. pair of jakes. so i had to go a wild goose chase trying to find them. man that place is too big for a little person like me :( so yeah, as i was trying to find them, i walked right into chris morrison, who works there :|:|:|:|:|:| aaaah. so embarassing. i haven't seen him since we went out in 6th year haha. he's lovely. ooft. much nicer now, anyways, he wasnt workin there tonight,just gettin drink, so the idiot put me over his shoulder :| and took me to the booze :| was good though cos my legs were sore....too much dancing in mcds haha. when we got to jess and carly eventually, i had to standand explain to jess who chris was cos she'd forgotten. typical. lol. so yeah, he's coming out with us on friday or saturday. yasss. carly was supposed 2 be here to get drunken with us tonight but she's PMT'd up to her eyeballs, so she cant :( anyways, my glass of jaggermeister is just sitting here laughing at me so am gonna go attempt to drink it :| bye 3 // Tear me apart..

[Tuesday the 15th, 02.23PM] woohoo. me and jess have our own flat :D how great. we got the keys this morning and weve already started moving stuff in. i think jay will be stayin with us for a while - in jess' room of course. ho ho HO. Anyways...what have I been doing...i'v been fannying about town with jess and geo, buying tack and the sorts. We found some amazing stuff, stuff for the flat. We have decided to have a comic book theme kitchen hehe...this was after being in A1 Comics when I bought a Psylocke doll...lol its minging! shes all ugly and manly, but I had to get it cause it was cheap, had a nicebox, and cause I love the X-Men. went to the pub last night 2 see if there were any decent ppl we knew in. that hot guy that me and jess got frisky with last week was in. hohoho. so we spoke to him for a while, he bought us booze then col came in and sat with us and this rank old man started shouting about how he wasnt gonna sit in a pub with 'poofs' in it, (he was making fun of col)so I started shouting at him, telling him to get out of MY pub haha, then when I walked past him I pushed him over a table, and his pint went flying. ha! serves him right, old bastard. Offt another rank old man came up to jess and said that she was sexy and he was gonna be thinking of her tonight while he did ...well...whatever old men do with their penis'. It was so so manky, he was so old. I shouted at him too...well kinda. I was telling him to keep away from my girlfriend hehe. Jess, Col, Carly and meh then went to tesco to get munchies, then went to Brians flat in the red light district. Me and jess ended up staying there the night and Col went home. and today my head hurts i cant get hold of jess. i think shes away shaggin that guy from that really crap band, 'the mull'...um...something 'society' again. big scallywag. 8 // Tear me apart..

[Sunday the 13th, 08.47PM] im bored so im gonna talk about my weekend. well, just last nite actually. went to dels then polo with jess carly david jay lisa forbes and a couple of other ppl. some fanny spiked carlys drink, but a few people seen him and sorted him right out...um including me. so after polo we went to george square where i ended up fighting with a couple of mini mosher/goth people and threatened them with traffic cones. wehey. i stayed at stephens flat last night. I think he was scared to sleep in the same bed as me...he slept on the floor, which pissed me off cause really (yes really) i wouldnt have made any moves, he started it last week and it would be totoaly uup to him if we did anything since hes the one with the wumman..if u can call her that. Im getting really pissed off now actualy, hes being all quiet on msn too with me, i think its quite pathetic really, that he cant even talk to me. so typical, i always end up with the total wastes of space like dev and mr cathouse bouncer tube (im gonna get so many comments cos i said that) but when theres someone i really do like (and i do) who is also really decent and sweet they have a 'wumman' and or isnt interested. I dont think im gonna make any effort in even trying to talk to him now...grrrr its so annoying! its like aw aye ok we kissed *shock* doesnt mean that if he talks to me somethings gonna happen...i hope this makes sense...it does in my head and thats good enuf for me. *sigh*. what pisses me off the most is that he started talking to me knowing he liked me but couldnt do anything about it (or so iv been told) so its his fault im feeling like this now, when it used to be aye, steph, hes a really nice guy...thats all...dont talk to him much kinda thang, it had never even crossed my mind that i could fancy him...fuk man i go on so much, ud think i was in love or summit haha...but well there comes a time when u just get fed up with shitty boys being cocks, so ill moan as much as i want. i think i shud start going for older guys now. i'm thinkin 25/26. yes. so here i am again feeling sorry for myself like i always fukin end up like. i cant believe i was actualy gonna go meet dev the other day, im so glad he cancelled, hes such a dick ...spose its my own fault i end up with ppl like dev and mr bouncer (not saying his name HAHAHA), letting ppl just use me n that. ooft well. i cany be arsed with it anymore. ....im totaly regreting pulling him last week, i enjoyed talking to him n that, and last week has fuked that up....wonder if i sound like a mad possesive stalker or summit...hope not....am just pissed off. well...mibby a little trip to some alcohol establishments with my gd mateys will perk me up...some drug abuse wouldnt go a miss too. *dies* think ill shut up and fuck off iv gone on and on so so long *tries to forget it* 3 // Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 10th, 05.03PM] [ mood | busy ] [ music | Dimmu Borgir - Vestbyrd ] weeeeeellll im jobless. woooo. i told liz to fuck off on monday cos i've just had enuf of her. before i left i opened a jar of coffee and a bag of sugar and emptied the whole lot in2 her bag. haha! her fone was in there an everything :D me an jess went to the pub with anthony 2day, hes alright now, he doesnt make up stories like he did b4 so it was ok. we went to the solid then to tesco for wine (i broke a bottle :S such a tit.) we drank the other one in the street like the bums we are. well jess didnt cos she's classay ;) we decided to go to red's, anthony walked us most of the way then had to go get his train. it was horrid! there were sooo many manky homeless ppl about, so we had to go down the little scabby streets to avoid them. I spent most of the day talking to pete in the solid, we were slagging off this stinking girl who always gives jess dirty looks, shes a fanny. really. she is the most mis-matched person iv ever seen. think jess was a bit annoyed that i was pointing right at her and shouting haha. oh well. this guy rory was talking to us about jess and mark hoho...and me, in a stupid drunken state was like 'blah blah *splutter* fix me up with derek' oh dear. he was like yeah yeah i will. i didnt think he actualy would but when i got home this afternoon, derek foned me out his face on god knows what and said he wants me to meet him for a drink tonight :S - i cant even remember what he looks like haha. ooopsy woo. thats it. doubt ill be going out much this week cause its my big brothers b-day and i need to buy him a present. xx 6 // Tear me apart..

[Sunday the 6th, 08.21PM] well today has been the worst day ever! woke up to hear my mum screamin at matthew, so my mum fucked off sumwhere and left me with him. took hjim over to jess' coz he was bored, he was bpred there aswell so we took him into glasgow for a wander and took him to kfc n shite then he fell asleep :| brought him home and my mum was in eventually! then i got a txt from carly. she sounded down so i foned her and we ended up talking for 2 1/2 hours lol! she's a mad laugh. i luv herrrrrrrrr <333333 and now im at jess' updating this cos my computer is fuckered :( byeeeee Lynne x Tear me apart..

[Monday the 31st, 11.40PM] [ mood | stressed ] i got a new pair of transmuters 2day. yey. im skint now though. that kenny guy from spyker had better fone me like he said he wud coz i hate my work the now :( liz is just getting TOO bossy and i just feel like stamping on her head and walking out. she's not even in charge of me! argh! big fat slapper. i rly dnt want 2 go in 2morw cos it's only me and her thats gona be there o wel, im away to play with the traffic :( Tear me apart..

[Thursday the 20th, 03.57PM] [ mood | cheerful ] aye well i thot id better update cos carly keeps telling me to. not done much 2day. went to glasgow with jess, carly couldn't come coz she was 'otherwise engaged' at claire's flat *winky wink* ho ho HOE! pmsl! so neways me + jess went shopping, went 2 get my toungue pierced at nirvana again but the wee guy who pierces tongues wasnt even in 2day! chuh! so i ended up taking a hairy fit and leaving. ive 2 go back 2morrow but fuck that (i probably will end up going so i duno wot am slavering about) fannied about in glasgow for a while then came home cos jess wasnt feeling too good -again. duno whats wrong with her :( poor jess. my mum asked me to babysit matthew again 2day but i stood up for myself and told her NO. sick of that woman so i am. she doesnt even pay me for it and he's a wee shite! enuff moaning from me, i'm going to the pub :) 4 // Tear me apart..

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